異常物品紀錄-II

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前言：基金會縱古橫今已回收了大量的異常物品，這些物品所帶有的異常效應太過無用以至於不值得基金會進一步研究。本文件列出了部分項目，若將來對這些項目變得有用或具有必要存在性，則能夠將其作為基金會的資源使用。
—首席研究主任Dr. ██████████，Site-██

此頁面為記錄的第二頁。要訪問第一及第三頁可分別到此頁及此頁。
 
注：請將新文章加至列表最底處，而非中間或頂部。

物品描述：一台長蛋反轉機，類似檯式香腸機。當長蛋被放入設備頂部的料斗並轉動手柄，長蛋會被消耗，並從下方斜槽出現一連串擁有完整蛋殼的正常生雞蛋。
發現日期：10-9-2017
發現地點：英國，威爾特郡，皇家伍頓巴西特
當前狀態：於 Site-17 烹飪實驗廚房中。
 
物品描述：一隻常見的烏鴉（Corvus corax），當被長時間觀看時，會導致對象暫時將文字看成美國作家埃德加·艾倫·坡（Edgar Allan Poe）的詩作《烏鴉（The Raven）》的段落。效應持續大約 15 分鐘至 1 小時。一些研究人員報告聽到過烏鴉稱他們為「埃德加」，儘管沒有人以埃德加為名。
發現日期：05-23-2016
發現地點：馬薩諸塞州波士頓
當前狀態：於 Site-66 的鳥舍中。
   
物品描述：一盤內容長度為 1 小時 20 分鐘的 VHS 錄影帶，附有用黑色記號筆寫的「噢五傻」不乾膠貼紙。錄影帶的內容描述了 O5 議會的前任以及現任成員被身穿長袍、戴著面具的人為了想要知道「我們的神在哪？」而綁起並拷問，直到畫面轉為雜訊。錄影帶最後以議會成員被開膛的屍體的靜止畫面和信息「很快。」作結。議會成員報告沒有異常活動。
發現日期：12-7-1981
發現地點：於 Site-01
當前狀態：由機動特遣隊 Alpha-1(「血色右手」）負責協助 O5 議會下令的調查行動。
 
物品描述：一系列合共 216 支鋼筆。每支筆在用於書寫時，會以使用者的血液代替墨水。
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：荷蘭，格雷夫
當前狀態：每支筆均被清楚標籤，並等待基金會惡魔學部批准使用。

物品描述：一具嚴重燒毀、幾乎沒有毛髮的靈長類動物屍體，擁有高度發達的大腦和神經系統。在動物的 DNA 內未發現任何已加密的 RHIt 標識或 RAND-tech 標籤，表明其並非由 Sticker Man 和/或飛行員所擁有，以及若其有智能的話，其並非以 Sticker Man 和/或飛行員的身份生活。顱骨骨折的方式與能量或虹吸武器不符，因此已停止進一步的研究。
發現日期：33 by 17 A/H（空週期）
發現地點：新印度的████/██區的一個地上加熱礦物處理設備。
當前狀態：確定對象涉及非法事件，因此被運送到███████的現場焚化爐。所有深入和詳細的記錄均保存在 L-KON-4 級有害介質儲藏庫中。

 物品描述：一台外部硬碟，當被插入的電腦並未安裝在 Lenovo 牌外殻時，只會儲存一系列隨機的貓照片，因此無法添加文件到硬碟中或移動、重新命名、複製、編輯或刪除當中的相片。每次拔下硬碟並重新插入時，圖片都會有所不同。當被插入的電腦安裝在 Lenovo 牌外殻時，它會如正常硬碟一樣運作，並且沒有顯示出異常特性。
發現日期：02/06/2005
發現地點：加利福尼亞州，聖地亞哥的一所房子。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一具保存完好的老鼠（Rattus norvegicus褐鼠）屍體，用黑色膠帶包裹，並被幾十根雞尾酒棒刺穿。當被持有時，持有者會獲得有關最近一名 Arthur Long 去世時客觀情況的完整認識。
發現日期：13/04/1956
發現地點：最近離世的 Long 先生之未婚妻 Maria Carney 的住所。
當前狀態：失蹤。
 
物品描述：一個木桶，當打開時，會出現一隻穿著小丑服裝的捲尾猴（Cebinae）木乃伊。屍體在關閉木桶時會速分解成塵土。
發現日期：09/12/2006
發現地點：密蘇里州，██████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一件大碼 NASA T 恤。T 恤上描繪的星星以異常方式發出非常少量的太陽輻射和光。
發現日期：14/2/2012
發現地點：維吉尼亞州，████████
當前狀態：裝裱於研究員 Caroll 的辦公室。

物品描述：一份描述「自發的模式殲滅」的文件，此現像在現實中未被觀察到。
發現地點：Site-02 ████████████部門
發現日期：2018-06-01  
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一隻被切斷的木乃伊化人腳，會在觀察過程中隨機引起視覺幻覺。個體會看到一個臉上有一張大嘴的枯瘦類人動物實體用舌頭舔腳。被影響的受試者報答感到不安或不舒服，以及即使該實體缺少眼睛，仍在盯著他們。影響持續到受試者轉過身或觀察約 1 分鐘後。
發現日期：5/12/1998
發現地點：秘魯，██████
當前狀態：收容中。
 
物品描述：一顆曾在█████聯盟對██████的刺殺以███████ ████ ██ ████的過程時使用於研究員 Yeshua 左手的釘子。當其被用於刺穿人手時不會導致流血。傷口保有所有其他負面健康影響。
發現日期：[刪除]
發現地點：從██████運輸到████████████陵墓途中。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一份書籍《█ ███████ ██ ████》的副本，其不會在任何反射表面上出現。單獨的書頁不會保留異常特性。
發現日期：█/██/2015
發現地點：賓夕法尼亞州，█████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一把███████牌的橙色十字螺絲刀，當將其插入螺絲，必定會無視轉動方向的把螺絲擰鬆。
發現日期：8/6/2016
發現地點：於新澤西州███████的一個廢棄█████████牌工具箱內
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
筆記：工具箱內的空間至少能再容納 7 件其他工具。
 
物品描述：一枝黑色的 Sharpie 筆，當用於書寫時，會飛向最近的牆壁並在上面畫出代表半徑 10 米內所有人類身高的水平標記。
發現日期：8/9/2016
發現地點：俄勒岡州，███████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一份肉餅的食譜，無論使用什麼材料，成品均為不含肉類的菜色。到目前為止，成品包括豆腐、沙拉和不含蛋類的糕點。
發現日期：2/15/2007
發現地點：俄亥俄州，福爾摩斯縣的██████家庭食譜
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一隻能進行光合作用的紅腿象龜（Chelonoidis carbonarius）。
發現日期：7/13/2017
發現地點：新澤西州，紐瓦克
當前狀態：於動物收容間。
 
物品描述：一隻在基因上與洋薊完全相同的加利福尼亞金背黃鼠。
發現日期：12/12/2012
發現地點：蒙大拿州，比林斯
當前狀態：於動物收容間。
 
物品描述：一個內有 3000 張相同的卡通骷髏的 JPG 檔案的電腦文件夾。該文件夾無法以任何方式複製、刪除或編輯。但可將其移動到硬碟。觀看該文件夾會為用戶帶來大量壓力和恐懼。
發現日期：9/13/2017
發現地點：緬因州，█████的█████圖書館的公用電腦中。
當前狀態：備份到██████博士的工作站。
 
物品描述：一個沒有插頭的入耳式耳機，會以摩爾斯電碼發送 SCP-██ 的發現日期和地理位置。
發現日期：12/01/1999
發現地點：加拿大，溫哥華
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
筆記：SCP-██ 具有與無線電波相關的異常效應。
 
物品描述：一塊異常引人注目的 2x4 木板。當測試對像被要求從一組包括該實體的木板中隨機選擇一塊木板時，均會選擇該實體。當被問及原因時，測試對像報告有一種非特異的注目感。
發現日期：07/12/2009
發現地點：伊利諾伊州，斯普林菲爾德
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一具牛隻屍體。除發現地點外，屍體並無其他異常特性。
發現日期：██-██-20██
發現地點：月球，南極－艾托肯盆地
當前狀態：仍在發現地點。
  
物品描述：一塊經多次使用，仍有無限能量的 4A 電池。
發現日期：03/12/2018
發現地點：於普羅米修斯實驗室位於冰島的設施
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
筆記：作為紅色閃電行動Operation Red Thunder的一部份，由機動特遣隊 Omega-20（“思想警察Thought Police”）回收。
 
物品描述：一本普通的筆記本，除背面的換算表外一切正常。該表的換算在現實中不可能發生，例如將「焦耳」換算成「分貝/每秒」。當在該筆記本上進行計算時，計算會合理穩定的進行。當轉移到其他媒體上時，數學會突然崩潰，使所有方程式錯誤。
發現日期：09/10/2018
發現地點：[已刪除]大學的工程系辦公室。
當前狀態：於多維研究實驗室中用於計算。
 
物品描述：一個雪花球，搖動時會導致使用者 3 米範圍內降雪 20-30 分鐘。效應在不會下雪的地方仍會出現。
發現日期：01/18/2016
發現地點：賓夕法尼亞州，████████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。可能在寒假期間使用，以在寒冬中提高士氣。

物品描述：一個有 100 個鋼回形針的未標記木盒。對象被彎曲時會恢復其原來的形狀，且在被成堆放置時會自動連接在一起。
發現日期：03/26/2005
發現地點：加利福尼亞州，薩加門多的廢棄史泰博運輸條板箱。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一個 19 世紀的鐵處女，在關上時會以約 100 分貝的聲量播放變錄於鐵處女的出道專輯鐵處女中的「鐵處女」。聲音只能在裝置內部聽到。
發現日期：6/9/2017
發現地點：於北卡羅來納州██████████的一家酒吧停車場中發現的一輛麵包車的貨艙中。車主身份不明；在發現時，一隊翻唱鐵處女歌曲、稱為███████的樂隊預定於第二天在該場地演出。目前無法確定車輛與樂隊或場地之間有確切關聯。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一個鋁製熱水瓶，當裝入水時，會開始釋放低壓電流。當裝入其他物質或是沒被裝入東西時，對象則會發出低頻率的微波輻射。
發現日期：1932
發現地點：中國，北京
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一台洗衣機，在開始程序時，會在整個程序中變成透明。衣物保持可見。 
發現日期：█/█/20██
發現地點：維吉尼亞州，█████████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一個總是指向最接近、血型為 B 陽性的人類的指南針。
發現日期：6/5/198█
發現地點：俄克拉荷馬州，███████的一家醫院
當前狀態：於 Site-██ 的醫務室
 
物品描述：一張 AOL 的免費試用光碟，會不斷發出撥號數據機的聲音。
發現日期：██/██/████.
發現地點：美國，紐約州，紐約市。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一朵盛開中的菊花，當被人類觸碰時會立即變成鐵。放開後對象會回復原狀。
發現日期：09/17/2013
發現地點：加利福尼亞州，洛杉磯的一間公寓。
當前狀態：於 Site-19 休息室的花瓶中。
 
物品描述：一種與任何已知陸生物種不同的植物狀生物。在完全生長前沒有任何異常特性。當完全生長後，它會無性生殖出一個種子莢。 種子莢最初為一小團麵團，並生長開出直徑 30 厘米的比薩花。食用該比薩不會產生異常效應。比薩表面有功能等同於種子的意大利辣香腸。
發現日期：10/2/2016
發現地點：肯塔基州，列剋星敦。
當前狀態：種子存於 VI 級長期低溫儲藏庫中。野生實例已確認被無效化。等待指定為 SCP。
 
物品描述：一個遙控器，其靜音按鈕能影響所指向的任何物體，開啓或關閉其發聲功能，效果持續 48 小時。
發現日期：02/19/2023
發現地點：馬里蘭州，████████街，██████監獄
Current State: 於 Site-33 的軍械庫中。可取得於潛行任務中有限使用的許可。
 
物品描述：一個萬寶路薄荷腦香菸紙盒，內有 198 支香煙。當吸食時，使用者會立即患上嚴重的肺癌。 展開包裝後，上面寫著「不要[粗口]吸煙」。
發現日期：08/24/2001
發現地點：在[刪除]的一家便利店[刪除]。
當前狀態：於 Site-45 中等威脅儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一個以類似鐽的紅色金屬物質製成的立方體，長闊高各為 1 吋。若被切開，兩者均會再生。
發現日期：12/17/2018
發現地點：加拿大，安大略省，巴里
當前狀態：192 個於儲藏庫中，有需要可提供使用。未知是否還有未知實例。
 
物品描述：一張白色毯子，當 12-29 歲的人穿著時會引起嚴重的幻覺。
發現日期：22/01/2005
發現地點：英國，倫敦市中心。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。可供 2 級或以上人員使用。
 
物品描述：一張金屬折疊椅，當有人試圖坐在椅子上時會向後滑動，使受害者跌坐地上。沒有可檢測到的椅子移動方式。無法檢測到椅子移動的方式。
發現日期：09/15/199█
發現地點：俄亥俄州，哥倫布市，██████高中。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一本封面和內頁都沒有名字的日記，當嘗試翻開上一頁時，會出現似乎無數的書頁。當讀者愈往後翻頁，日記內容便愈含糊不清。已記錄的最長一次是 7███ 頁，表示出「第████天。我做到了。它會帶走我們。我們所有人。」目前正進行有關該含糊信息的研究。
發現日期：██/██/████
發現地點：彭妮斯拉維亞州，██████的一間房屋。物品在住戶家中的桌上被發現。有關回收的記憶已被清除。
當前狀態：測試中。
 
物品描述：一個地下室牆壁上的開口，連接到不同但非常相似版的現實。屋主在目睹來自其他現實的人從牆上出現後聯繫了地方當局。當地基金會特工截獲了電話，並派出了一個收容小隊。
發現日期：08/27/18
發現地點：肯塔基州，列剋星敦的一戶獨立房屋
當前狀態：已無效化
 
物品描述：一塊████牌肥皂，在人體皮膚上使用時具有腐蝕性。物品對非生物及家畜沒有影響。
發現日期：23/10/20██
發現地點：英國，██████。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一塊█████牌機械錶，當任何物種的雙足行走動物與物品有視線接觸時會引起上述動物嘔吐。
發現日期：04/10/20██.
發現地點：加拿大，██████。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫內一個不透明盒子中；可在獲得 2 級人員的授權下用於測試。
 
物品描述：一個混合了大象和貓的毛絨娃娃。對象一定會評價物品為「不錯」。
發現日期：11/06/20██
發現地點：墨西哥，█████
當前狀態：於 Richard 博士的辦公室。
筆記：不錯。 ——Richard 博士
 
物品描述：一根木棍，當以碼為單位測量時，長度為 2.1 碼。以米為單位時，長度為 1 米。這在理論上是不可能的。
發現日期：02/25/2011
發現地點：德國，██████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
筆記：所有測量工具均經過複檢。 ——博士 █████
 
物品描述：一個領獎台，無論相同房間中有沒有其他人，都會令站在物品後的人有輕微的焦慮感。
發現日期：06/28/1999
發現地點： ███████，█████中心
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
 
物品描述：一隻由人體組織組成的██████牌右手棒球手套。經 DNA 測試得出結論，皮革屬於 ██████████ █████████、███ ███████ 和 ███████████ █████，均為得克薩斯州聖休斯敦███████公民。當人類把棒球手套戴到手上時，物品會在物理上和對象連接起來，代替手部成為人體一部分。截肢是唯一的移除方式。
發現日期：3/15/2018
發現地點：得克薩斯州，休斯敦，小聯盟棒球教練 ██████████ 的房子。
當前狀態：存放於 Site-██ 醫療區的冷藏室中。
 
物品描述：一座葉片最高能達到每分鐘█████轉速的鐵製座台風扇，轉速能以每分鐘█████呈綫性上升，這導致風扇能「飛」起來。無其他異常。
發現日期：██/██/19██
發現地點：阿拉巴馬州的██████
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。

物品描述：一台把衣服弄得更髒的洗衣機。
發現日期：21/5/2018
發現地點：██████乾洗店
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。

物品描述：一個擁有無敵蘋果皮的有機蘋果。
發現日期：02/05/2015
發現地點：在Mr.████因為咬這個蘋果而要去醫院看牙醫的時候在他的家發現。
當前狀態：其果肉已腐爛，但蘋果皮仍在存放中。

物品描述：20個1米長的熱溶槍子彈，能以使用的速度再次出現。
發現日期：25/1/2018
發現地點：██████ ████八年制學校的318室。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。
筆記：歡迎想用熱溶槍的人使用，在盒子旁有熱溶槍。不過記得要放回去。-研究員Lime

物品描述：The object appears to be a standard United States fire extinguisher, though in place of the text "Fire Extinguisher" is "Fire Distinguisher." When pointed at any item and the trigger mechanism is activated, the object will release a male voice which is described as "condescending" and determine what the item is.
發現日期：03/28/20██
發現地點：████████ High School located in Ohio.
當前狀態：In secure storage at Site-██.

物品描述：一個會踢人後背的木製假腿。
發現日期：2/6/1978
發現地點：瑞典的斯德哥爾摩。
當前狀態：於儲存庫中。

物品描述：13 12隻能在空中「游泳」和呼吸的金魚，放進水中則會沉入其中。
發現日期：1/08/2019
發現地點：洛杉磯，加利福尼亞中的███████博覽會。
當前狀態：於儲存庫中。

物品描述：會在無人時升起的馬桶座圈。
發現日期：██/██/████
發現地點：Site-11的女休息室
當前狀態：跟一個男廁的座圈互換。

物品描述：A 60's era CRT television that plays "lost episodes" of television programmes aired prior to 1965. Several series are featured, with programmes airing as they appeared when they were first broadcast. The episodes are played on loop from oldest to newest. At this point in time, staff have not found a way to turn it off. Attempts to destroy the object remain unsuccessful.
發現日期：17/08/2009
發現地點：███████, England
當前狀態：In storage at site-█ (next to Dr. Spoon's office, for research.
Note: Several episodes known to be "lost" are missing from the loop. This implies that these still exist in a recorded form somewhere. - Dr. Spoon

物品描述：1994年電影《危機人物》的光碟。 當出現烏瑪·瑟曼飾演的角色吸食海洛因的畫面時，觀賞者會出現海洛因吸食過量的情況並導致死亡。
發現日期： 2/9/10
發現地點：加利福尼亞州的洛杉磯。
當前狀態：於儲藏庫中。

物品描述：一個地球儀。當它旋轉時，旋轉者會感覺身屍在搖晃的船上。受試者經常因為這種感覺而失去平衡。建議經常暈船的人不要接觸此物品。 2-13分鐘後，在船上的感覺將會消失。而美國所在的地方已被「我討厭那些船」的文字所取代。
發現日期：3/20/2019
發現地點：德克薩斯州。
當前狀態：收容在Site-██的儲藏庫。

物品描述：一顆無敵的紅杉木，其樹枝及葉子會打結。
發現日期：未知
發現地點：加利福尼亞州沙加緬度內的███████ █████████
當前狀態：存放於███████ █████████並被監視器監視中。
 
物品描述：A small cloth "sling bag" full of clothes which, when swung at a person's head, will hit them with a force equal to a thrown rock.
發現日期：3/22/2019
發現地點：██████████ School, ██████ City, Cavite, Philippines
當前狀態：Contained at Site-25
 
物品描述：A yellow graphite pencil that constantly levitates 0.9 meters off the ground. Additionally, it always points towards 54.5028° N, 3.1486° W, which is the town of Borrowdale, England.
發現日期：7/11/2005
發現地點：Thomas Robinson High School in Tampa, Florida.
當前狀態：In storage.
 
物品描述：A male giant anteater (Myrmecophaga tridactyla). Periodically, various species of the family Formicidae will appear in and emerge from any cracks and holes in a 1.5 m radius from it.
發現日期：03/02/2014
發現地點：Reid Park Zoo, Tucson, Arizona
當前狀態：In animal containment.
 
物品描述：A set of 8 Matryoshka dolls with distorted internal geometries; the doll with the largest external dimensions features the smallest internal dimensions, while the doll with the smallest external dimensions features the largest internal dimensions. Objects were recovered placed inside one another in order of decreasing internal dimensions.
發現日期：6/4/2002
發現地點：Leeds, United Kingdom
當前狀態：Objects were separated and placed into individual storage at Site 25.
 
物品描述：12 paper straws of unknown make, which cause whatever fluid they are inserted into to become identical to ████'█ brand sweet tea.
發現日期：4/11/2005
發現地點：A small 750 square feet apartment in ███████████, FL.
當前狀態：In storage.
 
物品描述：A stainless steel spoon that only reflects the face of individuals whose names contain anagrams of the word "spoon".
發現日期：02/01/2019
發現地點：The Home of Dr. Spoon.
當前狀態：Storage. Documentation contains photographs of the object dressed in a doll's lab coat with paper bow tie, with images taken at such an angle to show Dr. Spoon's face reflected in the object.  
 
物品描述：A plastic decorative skull that, when thrown, will change trajectory towards another person's face.  
發現日期：09/19/1998
發現地點：Civilian hotdog stand, ████, New Mexico
當前狀態：Storage.  
 
物品描述：A blue horseshoe magnet that is only attracted to non-magnetic materials.
發現日期：4/20/2019
發現地點：Found in a dumpster behind a department store in Des Moines, Iowa.
當前狀態：In Dr. █████'s office.
Note: Can we do more research with this? It’s attracted to air and won’t stop floating. -Dr. █████
 
物品描述：Windows.System.OntologicalException.
發現日期：2016-11-03
發現地點：Microsoft Corporation Headquarters in Redmond, Washington.  
當前狀態：Bug closed. Could not reproduce.  
 
物品描述：Two 10 x 6.5 x 5 cm wooden jewelry boxes that, when both lids are closed, swap contents between the boxes.
發現日期：1-6-2019
發現地點：One of the boxes was found in a thrift store in █████, Illinois. Its anomalous properties were observed when Researcher ███████ noticed that whatever he put in the box would vanish when closed, and reappear when closed and opened again. A GPS device was used to find the location of the other box in a nearby home.
當前狀態：Storage at Site-██, pending investigation for SCP status.
 
物品描述：A toothbrush with a compulsory effect. People using it to brush their teeth will invariably hold the brush steady and instead intensely shake their heads.
發現日期：17/5/1997
發現地點：At a residential home in Lidköping, Sweden.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A blood bag that, when used, does not empty. The blood inside when tested shows a type of blood never before seen, researchers have labelled it Type-X. It can be used on any patient and it gains the properties of their own blood type.
發現日期：21/3/1941
發現地點：A field hospital in Vichy-France.
當前狀態：In storage.
 
物品描述：A graphite pencil, when used to write, instead forces the holder to produce a photorealistic drawing of a █████ brand audio speaker.  
發現日期：██/██/████
發現地點：██████,██
當前狀態：In storage.
 
物品描述：A coffee table that stubs a subject's right toe when not in direct line of sight.
發現日期：██-██-2015
發現地點：█████████████, Oak Creek, Wisconsin
當前狀態：Stored at Site-██. If access is needed, contact Dr. ████████████
 
物品描述：A notebook in which all drawings made on it appear to be governed by 2D physics. Drawings locomote as if they are in a liquid medium.
發現日期：10/05/2019
發現地點：████ ██████ college at ███████, █████
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A 7" vinyl copy of MC Hammer's 1990 album Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em that generates an impenetrable, invisible force-field around it, roughly 3 cm in radius from all points on the record. Replicas of the record based off of visual scans reveal that it contains the song "U Can't Touch This" looped 13 times.
發現日期：12/02/2019
發現地點：A dumpster in ████, Ohio.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：An opaque, light blue liquid that, when drunk by any human, renders them unable to perceive shades of blue.
發現日期：05/█/2007
發現地點：Abandoned chemistry lab, ██████, Wyoming.
當前狀態：In storage pending further research.

物品描述：A Sony 1979 Walkman portable media player that only plays Earth, Wind, & Fire's September on loop. Any human who hears the song within 5 meters will believe the date is September 21, 1978 until out of range.
Date of Recovery:21/██/2000
發現地點：A flea market in Chicago, Illinois.
當前狀態：In storage at Site-15

物品描述：A small set of wooden Russian nesting dolls, the largest marked "1.99" at the bottom. When putting the nesting dolls back inside one another, another smaller nesting doll appears in the smallest nesting doll.
發現日期：05/09/2008
發現地點：In the "Miscellaneous Object" section of a Good Will.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A 1968 Pontiac Ventura painted in an off-white color, which only has three wheels. Despite this, it remains evenly balanced, as if it has four wheels. Attempts to put a fourth wheel on result in the tire with the most wear to simply "fall off" if the car is moved, regardless if the lug nuts are tightened. Anomalous feature had gone unnoticed until Agent ████████ attempted to drive the car off the lot, at which point the right-rear wheel fell off.
發現日期：04/14/1995
發現地點："Mad Sam's Used Cars", Detroit, Michigan
當前狀態：Stored in Site-77 Sector-B Parking Garage.

物品描述：A General Electric U25B Locomotive (Numbered 20█), wearing the paint scheme for the (defunct) Rock Island Line. The engine is capable of movement at low speeds (~10 mph/16 kph or less) without the need to start the engine. Was sold to the Foundation as it required an overhaul which RIL could not afford to do as a result of financial troubles. Overhaul was performed within six months of purchase by Foundation.
發現日期：02/██/1966
發現地點：Chicago, Illinois
當前狀態：In-use at Site-45's Rail Depot
Note: It is unknown if 20█ had this anomalous property before or after it was rebuilt. Interviews with former owners/operators are inconclusive. 20█ underwent a second rebuild in 2009, and it retained the anomalous property after the overhaul was completed.

物品描述：An M60 Machine Gun that will act as if jammed after firing exactly twelve (12) consecutive shots. The only way to clear the jam is to open the magazine cover and observe that there is no obstruction. Upon closing the magazine cover, the gun will fire again, provided there is nothing else fouling the firing sequence. If a burst of eleven (11) shots or less is fired, the gun will not jam, provided no dirt or debris enters the system.
發現日期：8/14/1979
發現地點：████████, South Africa
當前狀態：Jammed In Site 06 Weapon Storage.

物品描述：A metallic spinning wheel about a meter in diameter, attached to a pedestal. The wheel spins with the power provided by the motor, which gets fuel from the spin of the wheel, violating the first and the second law of thermodynamics.
發現日期：27-2-2011
發現地點：A laboratory located in Washington, USA
當前狀態：In display at the foundation physics research branch.

物品描述：A tape measure with a seemingly infinite amount of measuring tape, numbered at every inch of length. At multiples of 5280 inches, the numbers restart from 1.
發現日期：5/28/2000
發現地點：A Home Depot store in the UK.
當前狀態：In storage at Site-77.

物品描述：A bottle of ███ █████ ██████ Lager that contains a liquid chemically similar to human sweat. Any amount emptied from the bottle is spontaneously refilled when the cap is replaced. Only one bottle out of a six-pack displayed this anomalous property.
發現日期：11-10-2015
發現地點：█████ ████ ███████████ convenience store, Newton, MA
當前狀態：In storage. Missing, presumably stolen.

物品描述：A CD copy of metalcore band A Day To Remember's "What Separates Me From You" which, when the listener listens to one of the songs from the album, replaces the man in the album art with the listener.
發現日期：6/21/2012
發現地點：Birmingham, England.
當前狀態：General media storage.

物品描述：A double-barreled shotgun with an over/under configuration, with the furniture made of pine wood. The gun lacks any markings, aside from a name scratched onto the upper-barrel near the break-action. The anomaly is that the name scratched into the side of the gun changes almost daily, and only does so when it is not observed directly. While there does not appear to be a pattern behind the name it selects, the gun has frequently chosen the names "Shelby", "Tony", "Arik" (sic), and "Bobby".
發現日期：10/19/1918
發現地點：Abandoned trench near the French/Belgium border
當前狀態：Site-85 Firing Range

物品描述：A 49-year-old Hispanic man. He can speak any language, even made up ones, but cannot read or write.
發現日期：9-10-2003
發現地點：San Jose, California
當前狀態：Living at family home, but must stay in contact with The Foundation at all times.

物品描述：An ████████ brand black microwave, which heats the center plate at a perfectly even rate, while not heating any area outside of this plate.
發現日期：3-21-20██
發現地點："Peculiar Pieces" store in Denver, Colorado
當前狀態：Kept in Site-██ cafeteria for personnel usage.

物品描述：A nineteen-ninety-nine Window's Ninety-Eight computer that prohibits the user from using numbers. Pressing any of the number keys result in the number being spelled out. The computer will adjust wording to reflect on the addition of more "numbers". Device lacks a serial number.
發現日期：July Twenty-First, Nineteen-Ninety-Nine
發現地點："Best Buy" located in Warner, New Hampshire
當前狀態：Located in Site-Eighty-Four Break Room Relocated to library. Not to be accessed unless requested directly.

物品描述：A brown coffee mug of the  ████ brand. Drinking from the mug's left (as of the handle) side causes any liquid to taste much warmer than usually, and drinking from its right side causes liquids to taste colder. This effect applies to all drinkable liquids, but it won't apply to liquids that are not meant to be put in a coffee mug, such as magma, snow, etc. However, the mug won't be damaged in any way by such liquids.
發現日期：27-6-20██
發現地點："Hoshe's Store", Washington DC.
當前狀態：On Site-0█ cafeteria, for site director use only.

Item Eggscription: An egg carton containing 8 eggs; when talking or writing about the egg carton, the subjeggct's communications will become scrambled with egg puns of questionable quality. The anomelet does not function while eggs are outside of the yolk of the carton.
Date of Poaching: 11-8-2012
Location of Poaching: "FoodChute", Columbia, South Crackalina.
當前狀態：In Site-303's cafeggteria.

物品描述：A white, quilted, coil mattress, measuring 135 cm by 190 cm. All tags meant for instruction or identification have an absence of text or symbols. All attempts to fit a fitted sheet onto the bed, regardless of dimensions of the sheet or number of personnel participating, will result in at least one corner failing to fit.
發現日期：01-19-2013
發現地點：London, Ontario, Canada
當前狀態：Permanent storage at Site-19.

物品描述：A wooden box with the drawing of the sun on it. All subjects exposed to the box, as in standing closer than 3 meters to it, touching it or looking at it for more than 5 continuous minutes, will report the feeling that they are watching the sun itself. They report feeling unusual heat, generating from the box, and the drawing looking exactly as a colored picture of the real sun. The box lacks any other unusual, anomalous effects.
發現日期：7-6-2012
發現地點：[REDACTED], USA
當前狀態：Used as decoration on Dr. ███'s office, Site-██

物品描述：A pink colored DVD with no visible markings to identify any previous owner. When viewed the DVD appears unwritten. When played on a DVD player, an image of English actor Benedict Cumberbatch appears spinning on a pink background with the song Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy playing. The video will play on repeat until DVD is removed.
發現日期：14/2/20██
發現地點：A dumpster behind a record store in ███ █████████, CA
當前狀態：Shredded on 14/2/20██
Note: I ordered it to be destroyed after the first three hours - Dr. Landon

物品描述：A rogue US Military reconnaissance satellite with the designation RD-███ █. On the 30/██/200█ at 20:21 UTC the AFSC (Air Force Space Command) lost contact with RD-███ █, though its position was still being monitored by ground satellites. AFSC scientists attempted to re-establish radio contact and regain control of the satellite, but failed. 3 hours later at 23:25 UTC the satellite began sending coded signals back to ground control. These were then deciphered to reveal the message "Hippity Hoppity this satellite is our property". The US Military immediately suspected an expertly performed hacking, and the Foundation were contacted to help with further investigations.
發現日期：30/05/201█ at 23:25 UTC
發現地點：Some 450 Km somewhere above the southern pacific ocean.
當前狀態：As of 5/██/201█, the satellite completely deviated from its current orbit. It now resides at 526 Km above Earth, with an orbital inclination of 25^° relative to Earth's equatorial plane. Currently being monitored and tracked by ground satellites at Site-[REDACTED]. The hacker(s) have not been identified, though signal tracing determines that the hacking originated from somewhere in the state of South Australia, Australia.

物品描述：A red balloon that cannot be popped by any known means nonanomalous means.
發現日期：28-05-2019
發現地點：Found jammed in the turbine of a downed commercial airplane in Mexico.
當前狀態：Popped. Remains are nonanomalous.

物品描述：A pair of blue skinny jeans of an unknown brand. When worn, its pockets anomalously fills with sand, giving the wearer an urge to throw the sand into someone's face while yelling, "Pocket sand!"
發現日期：28-05-2019
發現地點：█████████, CA
當前狀態：Missing

物品描述：A drawing of a rainbow in crayon. Any instances of the word rainbow will be colorized similarly to the drawing if appearing in a sentence that mentions the drawing. Personnel report a similar effect when the drawing is discussed verbally, found to be caused by [REDACTED CLEARANCE LEVEL 5/PATAPHYSICS].
發現日期：3/3/2003
發現地點：Wizard Island, OR
當前狀態：Lost in a fire, infohazardous effect still present.

物品描述：A blue IPhone 6 Plus. If the battery goes below 50% charge it will begin to vibrate violently without the vibration motor being activated, and will continue to vibrate even after the battery reaches 0% charge.
發現日期：10/8/2017
發現地點：Cupertino, California  
Status: Incineration Approved by Dr. █████████ on 26/5/2019
Note: Stop making inappropriate remarks about the item please, be professionals - Dr. █████████

物品描述：A simple clay pot painted with unknown writing thought to be a derivative of Swahili. When broken or smashed, the object will dissipate into a large swarm of flies recognized as the genus Glossina (commonly known as tsetse flies). The swarm will then press together into the shape of the original, undamaged pot and reform.
發現日期：06/12/1979
發現地點：██████, Tanzania
當前狀態：In Storage

物品描述：A marble that can only be perceived as two marbles
發現日期：9/21/2019
發現地點：Dr. Smith's personal marble collection
當前狀態：On display in Dr. Smith's office

物品描述：A member of the Alpheidae family of animals (commonly referred to as pistol shrimp) with firearms of an unknown make and model instead of claws.
發現日期：9/22/2019
發現地點：Atlantic Ocean
當前狀態：In Reinforced aquatic anomaly containment unit in site-██

物品描述：A document describing "spontaneous pattern annihilation," a phenomenon that has not been observed in reality.
發現地點：Site-02
 ████████████ Department
發現日期：2018-06-01  _{Caution: [DATA CORRUPTED]ard}
物品描述：A document describing  spontaneous pattern annihilation," a phenomenon that _tic has not been observed in reality and never will be observed in any reality where reality is real. ^A+B=MC2
Current Srtatus: So you j ust do whatever they tell you?
當前狀態：Storage
Quote by ██ Floyd - “Can someone else fix the memetic scrambling in the data please? This is the third time I’ve had to sort through corrupted duplicates for this single entry in a month. That can’t be a coincidence! This stupid document is supposed to be harmless! For Gods sake if pataphysics doesn’t take a look at this bloody paperwork soon I’m going to [DATA EXPUNGED]”
^ehazmëm

Containme Pro: NULL.cosma
A+∞=?

ANTI-MEMETIC LOCK ENGAGED

(In my bonds I brand a ring of seven singing scythes. With my cup I drink the day and think of dying lives. In my bonds I brand a ring of seven singing scythes. With my cup I drink the day and think of dying lives. In my bonds I brand a ring of seven singing scythes. With my cup I drink the day and think of dying lives.)

• Item Description ~ 2 entries detailing a document describing "spontaneous pattern annihilation,” including the original file and an anomalously generated false duplicate. Both had been discovered to have been corrupted by a previously unknown memetic agent and a debilitating cognitohazard. This effect is now known to have originated from the document both detailed, and has spread to most known files regarding the item.
 
• Date of Incident ~ [MEMELOCKED/CLEARANCE REQUIRED]

• Location of Recovery ~ N/A

• Current Status ~ Neutralized. NOTE: Memetic hazards and cognitohazards within the documents contained in these entries have been thoroughly neutralized and are safe for viewing by foundation personnel. All nonrelated files regarding this item except [MEMELOCKED/CLEARANCE REQUIRED] are to be terminated. The termination of the item in question is pending approval. The corrupted files in their non memetic forms will remain untouched in this database so further study may be performed. Foundation personnel affected by these memetic effects have been administered amnestics. Personnel without Level 3 Clearance or higher not given proper authorization are prohibited from research into the item. Investigation into foundation researchers [MEMELOCKED/CLEARANCE REQUIRED] and [MEMELOCKED/CLEARANCE REQUIRED] in the foundation ████████████ Department have been initiated. - [MEMELOCKED/CLEARANCE REQUIRED], Director of Foundation Pataphysics

(Break the scythe upon my knee and burn the cups of gold, sing and dance and die in vain and howl to moons untold.)
 
END ANTI-MEMETIC LOCK

++++++  
物品描述：A life-sized doll filled with interstellar particulate matter and trace amounts of metallic hydrogen. The item mimics the appearance of the late astronomer Carl Edward Sagan.
發現日期：1996/12/21
發現地點：Fred Hutchinson Research Center, Seattle, Washington
Recovery Log: On the morning after Carl Sagan's death, mortuary technicians noticed Sagan's body had gone missing. Law enforcement dispatched on-site reported that a person or group of persons had stolen and replaced the body, discovering the doll alongside a Freedom From Religion brochure. Foundation agents later released a cover story proposing that the incident was a practical joke.

For the ensuing two months, Sagan's cadaver could not be located. To mitigate distress within the Sagan family, Foundation agents planned a necessary cover-up funeral. On February 27, 1997, the Amnestics Department orchestrated a secular public memorial service for Carl Sagan's life. Throughout the service, personnel posing as funerary staff dispersed a specialized gaseous Class-E/W "Solace" a/mnestic cocktail. As a result, persons attending the service had memories and feelings associated with melancholy and grief replaced with a reinforced mass fondness for the late Sagan.
當前狀態：Item is contained within a shrine to Carl Sagan at Site-64.

物品描述：A worn dish-cloth with an effective mass of 0 grams, which is unaffected by gravitation. The composition of the cloth has been analyzed and found to be non-anomalous fabric. The cloth can otherwise be manipulated as typical, despite acting as if it were in a microgravity environment.
發現日期：3/08/2018
發現地點：SpaceX Falcon 9 Booster, post-landing. No such object was included in the flight's manifest.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：He's an adorable little ████-brand trainer that makes people communicate about him as if he's a cute animal of some sort.
發現日期：13/06/2019
發現地點：████████, England
當前狀態：In a desk drawer in Dr. ███████'s office.
Note: I've named him Jerry. Also, he likes to attack other, less worthy shoes. - Dr. ███████

物品描述：A small plastic button colored red, that lights up when pressed. Subsequently, smooth jazz permeates the room from an unidentified source.
發現日期：28/09/2019
發現地點：A pawn shop in Windom, Minnesota
當前狀態：Sitting on Dr. ██████'s desk.
Note: Stop taking my button. The jazz helps me work. - Dr. ██████

物品描述：A black plastic domino with one white pip on each side. The domino can only be knocked over by a human index finger, and it always falls backwards, making it almost useless as a domino.
發現日期：09/09/19██
發現地點：A toy store in Vicksburg, Mississippi, on top of a full box of normal dominoes
當前狀態：In storage. The normal dominoes were placed in the Site-19 break room after examination.

物品描述：Twenty Nineteen sheets of construction paper that change color every 10 minutes. The papers can only be damaged if cut with a pair of safety scissors. If a sheet of paper is cut into pieces one tenth of its original size, the paper becomes "stuck" on whatever color it last displayed and no longer shows any anomalous properties.
發現日期：██/██/2017
發現地點：███████ Elementary School in ████ ██████, Kentucky
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A USB flashdrive that becomes invisible when held in the hand. After leaving the hand, it becomes visible again. It contains no data and any files saved to it are unrecoverable.
發現日期：04/10/2019
發現地點：██████████████ Forest, ██°██′██″N ██°██′██″W
當前狀態：In Storage
Note: Worthless piece of junk deleted my backups — Agent Greg

物品描述：A no book no that no when no described no will no put no the no word no ‘no’ no in no between no of no every no word no and no will no replace no numbers no with no the no word no ‘no’. No the no remains no of no the no book no retain no the no same no anomalous no properties.
發現日期：No No/No No/No No No No
發現地點：A no Library no in no the no Philippines.
當前狀態：Incinerated
Note: Thank [EXPLETIVE]. - Dr. ███

物品描述：A correction tape that will change the colour of the tape to black if used on the word ‘white’.
發現日期：8/10/2019
發現地點：In a shut down school in ██████.
當前狀態：In Storage
Note: Ironic. -Dr. ███

物品描述：A standard working Foundation computer entirely made of various types of cheeses that immediately transforms all electronics in 30 cm radius into cheese. The affected electronics will not lose their functionality despite being made of cheese.
發現日期：10/10/2019
發現地點：Dr. ██████████’s office located in Site-19 Facility 23
當前狀態：In Storage
Note: Rosen, why couldn’t you fix my computer like a normal person? - Dr. ██████████

物品描述：A standard Target franchise uniform that when being worn will make the wearer believe they work for the Walmart franchise. Wearers will then proceed to move in the direction of the nearest Walmart branch, regardless of the conditions in the aforementioned direction. If the location is met, then the wearer will begin to work as if they were an employee (stocking shelves, operating registers, helping customers, etc). Effects will wear off roughly 5-10 minutes when removing the uniform.
發現日期：16/10/19
發現地點：An air vent inside of a Montana Target location's storage room.
當前狀態：Incinerated

物品描述：A minor indie game which has a variable "cooldown" mechanic that, when reduced below zero actually causes it's effect before activation. Results in time-loops and has a slight statistical effect to enforce this. Anomalous section of code isolated, removed and replaced with non-anomalous version.
發現日期：24/01/2003
發現地點：An office building in London, now demolished and replaced for unrelated reasons, see records for details.
CurrentPrimary copy stored in the causal research division's hardened databank for research purposes.
Not as usefull as it may seem, gets exponentially harder to set up beyond a few seconds and throws an error message if activation is forced from a more distant causal system while in a situation unsuited for time-loops. Hmm, that alone could be pretty useful, some sort of measurement system? Research needed. -Dr. Hengzel Baker

物品描述：An anomalous bank account which is capable of changing the deposited currency into a different currency. The altered currency was discovered to be replaced with the closest form; the type of which is determined by the heritage of the depositor.
發現日期：4/12/2007
發現地點：Bank of Forest, Forest, Mississippi, USA. The owner whom had originally setup the account was identified as Warren Cooper, and was found dead five (5) days before the discovery of the anomaly. Warren was known to collect abundances of unique forms of cash.
當前狀態：Deleted

物品描述：A drawing of a triangle with two right angles on a white board in permanent marker.
發現日期：3/03/2003
發現地點：In an abandoned school in ████, New Zealand.
當前狀態：In Storage
Note: The whiteboard is safely in storage, but the triangle still doesn’t make sense! -Dr.██

物品描述：Two wild morph bearded dragons (Pogona vitticeps) which have sociality comparable to domesticated dogs, becoming lethargic and depressed when separated from social contact and stimulation.
發現日期：3/08/1990
發現地點：In an abandoned reptile breeding facility, in ███ ██, Texas.
當前狀態：Being held together in a 75 gallon terrarium with proper husbandry at Low-Maintenance Animal Storage Site ███.

物品描述：A fragment of space rock which relocates via teleportation to specific Foundation sites every time a new anomaly is discovered.
發現日期：12/10/2000
發現地點：The right wing of Lunar Site-20.
當前狀態：Kept on display at its current location, Site-112.

物品描述：A size M forest camouflage T-shirt that causes anyone to wear it to believe they are invisible. Subjects wearing the shirt are reported to say things about how they cannot be seen. This anomalous effect only manifests when the shirt is worn as the outermost layer of clothing.
Date of Discovery: 2/6/2005
Location of discovery:██████, United States of America
當前狀態：Kept in low-tier anomalous storage at Site-██

物品描述：A paperback copy of the book The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. Whenever someone reads the first chapter, they become emotionally attached to the book and refuse to let it go. The only way to remove the effect is through amnestics.
發現日期：██/██/████
發現地點：Uninhabited portion of the Sahara Desert, Algeria
當前狀態：In Dr. ████'s office.

物品描述：A species of the Order Carnivora in which males resemble wild canines and females resemble wild cats.
發現日期：██-██-2018
發現地點：Amazon Rainforest, near Manaus, Brazil
當前狀態：In specialized animal containment, search teams have been dispatched to locate remaining wild instances.

物品描述：An anomalous anomaly. The anomalous properties of the anomaly are unknown.
發現日期：Anomalous
發現地點：Anomalous
當前狀態：Anomalous

物品描述：Two panes of glass that act as a portal for light. When pane-A is viewed it appears to display the image expected to be seen through pane-B and vice versa
發現日期：██-██-2019
發現地點：An abandoned house located in [REDACTED] used as windows
當前狀態：In Site 19 storage

物品描述：A matchbox containing 100 matches which, when lit, make the person holding the match want to set fire to someone's hair.
發現日期：█/██/20██
發現地點：A convenience store in ████████, Ireland
當前狀態：In a drawer in Dr. █████'s office
Note: I don't want anyone trying to set fire to my beard, it cost $70 to get it like this - Dr. █████

物品描述：220g of sugar which, when dissolved in water, produce an air-spread effect of
accelerated energy and BPM of the heart. When digested, the user generally feels happier than before. Source of more of this anomalous item have been found, but not easy to obtain.
發現日期：16-11-2013
發現地點：████████ Residence, England
當前狀態：Kept in a locker at Site-50, provisional field usage approved in select circumstances by Foundation Overwatch.
Note: Family reported they had bought this pack of sugar from a shop that also contained ██ bottles of SCP-207. Links between this item and SCP-207 are ongoing.

Item Description:  A blue plastic comb, roughly 5 inches long, with 16 bristles. Upon use, it instantly removes hair knots, matting, and tangles.
發現日期：01/23/19
發現地點：Tuscaloosa, Alabama
當前狀態：In Storage.

物品描述：A transportable cooler manufactured by the Igloo company which spontaneously dispenses a large abundance of flames when opened. Objects within proximity of this manifestation may catch fire regardless of material flammability. Anomaly's effects diminish in temperatures of -7°C or lower.
發現日期：04-15-2008
發現地點：Tybee Island, Georgia, USA.
當前狀態：In Site-56's freezer.

物品描述：A 12" Record of the 4th studio album Ghost in the Machine by the English band The Police that cause the person who placed the record on the turn table to start singing in the exact voice of lead singer Gordon Sumner or each song.
發現日期：11/1/1982
發現地點：Dumpster outside of A&M Record Headquarters, Santa Monica, California
Current Status:  Accidentally made unplayable on 2/2/1984 after SOMEONE a researcher started to scratch the disc then snapped it. Pieces no longer show the anomalous property.
Notes:I TOLD YOU NOT TO SCRATCH THE DAMN DISC DR. MARTIAN, I SWEAR TO GOD - Dr. Andrews

物品描述：A calculator with the answer to 0÷0 on it.
發現日期：06-02-2011
發現地點：Third floor of the University of Barcelona, Barcelona, Spain.
當前狀態：In storage.

Item Description:¹
Date of Recovery:²
Location of Recovery:³
Current Status:⁴

物品描述：A Polaroid photograph of a common sunflower that gives those who view it a sense of nostalgia, regardless of if they have seen a sunflower or a Polaroid photograph in their life.
發現日期：04-16-2002
發現地點：A thrift shop in Manchester, New Hampshire
當前狀態：Framed in Dr. █████’s office.

物品描述：A framed photograph of SCP-173 in its containment chamber. The image shows SCP-173 teleporting around its chamber regardless of it someone is viewing it or not. The object also remains unchanged if SCP-173 is out of its containment chamber.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：Pawn shop in ██████████, ████████
當前狀態：In storage at Site-19.

物品描述：A “That’s Easy” button that when pressed, plays the sound expected except the point of origin is two feet above the button itself.
發現日期：04-██-████
發現地點：A Staples brand store located in ████████, Maryland
當前狀態：In storage. Currently in possession of Researcher █████

物品描述：A metal fishing hook that, when submerged in any kind of liquid, will pull a tiny old leather boot. The subject that placed the hook in the water will say “Damn it, not again!” upon seeing the boot. The caught boot will disappear 2 days after its date of manifestation.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：A bait and tackle shop in ████, Massachusetts
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A stovepipe hat and fake beard resembling those of American President Abraham Lincoln that make those who wear it perfectly recite speeches from the aforementioned president. The subject’s voice anomalously changes to what historians believe Abraham Lincoln sounded like.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：American history museum in ███████, Georgia
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A shoebox diorama that alternates between a fantasy scene where a ragtag group of adventurers are fighting a dragon and a sci-fi scene where astronauts fight a giant alien. Paper cutouts of SCP-111 and SCP-1230-1 can be found in the fantasy scene, and paper cutouts of SCP-2006 in the form of Ro-Man and SCP-811 dressed like and alien can be seen in the sci-fi scene.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：Suburban home in ███████, ████████. Child used it for a project at their school.
當前狀態：In possession of Researcher █████.

物品描述：A torn whoopee cushion that causes any person who sits on it to anomalously flatulate. Only living humans can activate its effect.  
發現日期：04-01-████
發現地點：Joke prop store in ███████, ██████████
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A 10” by 8” American flag that quietly plays the United States national anthem on the Fourth of July. The music becomes louder when held and waved.
發現日期：07-04-████
發現地點：P████ ████ brand store in █████████, ███████████
當前狀態：Placed in Site-19’s break room.

Item Description:  A brick that disappears when thrown, but will appear near the person who threw it five minutes later.
發現日期：12-03-████
發現地點：███████, ██████
當前狀態：Hasn’t returned after ██  tests involving its anomalous properties.

物品描述：A handmade drawn Mother’s Day card that anomalously says “love you mom” in a child’s voice when opened. No sound devices are present in the card. If any mother reads the card or hears the voice message, they will become happy.
發現日期：05-13-2012
發現地點：████████, Louisiana
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A living goldfish made entirely out of gold. It does not require food, but does require water to remain in an active state. In its active state, it swims around, interacting with whatever it’s provided with in its space. In its inactive state, it looks like a gold model of a goldfish.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：█████, China
Current Status; Currently owned by Researcher ██████.

物品描述：A wooden model of an “M” that completely convinces people it’s a “W” when it’s flipped over. The same effect happens when the “W” is turned over to make a “M”.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：███████, ████████
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A small rubber bouncy ball that anomalously produces a cartoon “boing” sound when it bounces off any surface. The volume of the sound depends on the amount of force applied to the bounce of the ball.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：Convenience store in Lynn, Massachusetts
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A fire extinguisher that contains an infinite amount of soft marshmallow fluff rather than nitrogen or carbon dioxide.
發現日期：07-18-2003
發現地點：Burnt down suburban home in ████████, █████████
當前狀態：In storage.
Notes: On-site personnel are not to use this object as a candy machine. I get it that some people here really like marshmallow, but have some self control guys. The Foundation isn’t run by children. - Site Director ██████.

物品描述：A folding chair that unfolds when put together and placed on the ground. Anyone who sits on the chair will feel obligated to fold it once they stand up. After anywhere from 10-20 attempts, subject will grunt and state “I give up”.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：██████, █████████
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A stress ball in the shape of SCP-999. Object shows no anomalous properties besides the threat of an information breach that it poses.
發現日期：07-20-199█
發現地點：Therapist's office in ███████, Rhode Island
當前狀態：In storage. Placed in Site-██'s Break Room.

物品描述：A cardboard box full of plastic grocery bags. If any item weighing over 300 grams is placed inside one of the plastic bags, the bag’s bottom will immediately tear, the object inside falling to the ground. The bag usually waits until there are over 5 objects inside to tear, and even then, there is a delay until the carrier of the grocery bag is in motion. The bag will tear immediately upon motion if eggs are placed inside, even if they are the only object in the bag.
發現日期：3/5/2019
發現地點：A Walmart in Colorado, USA
當前狀態：In storage at Site-19

物品描述：An Outback Steakhouse cardboard coaster. Any container, containing any liquid, that is placed on the coaster will inevitably fall over and spill, no matter how stable it is, if it's being held in place, or if there's a lid on it. The coaster is immune to any damage a coaster of it's type would normally receive from the spills.
發現日期：11/18/2019
發現地點：An Outback Steakhouse in Indiana, USA
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：Item is a white wooden shed which cannot be captured by photographs or video recordings.
發現日期：7/12/2008
發現地點：Holly, Michigan, USA.
當前狀態：The item in question has been forcefully removed from its original property and transported to Site-56. It is currently used for containment of other logged anomalous items with the support of it's anomalous properties using various CCTV cameras in it's containment chamber.

物品描述：A rubber duck that anomalously transforms into a real duck for an hour at noon every day. This duck doesn't need anything to live, and immediately turns back into a rubber duck at one o'clock PM.
發現日期：██-██-2011
Location of Recovery: Daycare in Rhode Island, USA
當前狀態：In animal containment at Site-██.

物品描述：A grandfather clock that makes anyone under the age of 60 feel like they are rapidly aging; no physiological anomalies have been noted. The only people under 60 whom are immune to this anomalous effect are men who have grandchildren.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：Antique store in ████████, New York
當前狀態：In storage.

^{物品描述：A push pin that makes all information typed about it appear in superscript format.
發現日期：██/██/2007
發現地點：On the desk of Dr. ████
當前狀態：On a bulletin board in the Site-██ break room.}
Note: Well, at least we know that it's functional. - Dr. ████

物品描述：A laptop with exactly one pixel out on its screen. Every time it is reopened, the dead pixel with be in a completely different location on the screen. Anyone who sees this dead pixel will be immediately enraged and try to destroy the laptop, which has been proven on several cases to be indestructible.
發現日期：03-12-20██
發現地點：A Best Buy brand technology store in ██████, Georgia
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A boston terrier (Canis lupus familiaris) breed house dog which exhibits the exact DNA as an extinct passenger pigeon (Ectopistes migratorius), despite possessing the traits and bodily functions as a canine.
發現日期：23/9/2017
發現地點：A Petco shop in Austin, Texas, USA.
當前狀態：Used as Researcher Bernal's emotional support animal.

物品描述：A flag ten centimetres in length and five centimetres wide which changes its appearance depending on the prominent ethnicity of the holder. If there are two holders it will assume the appearance of the flag of the prominent country between the two.
發現日期：█/██/████
發現地點：███████, England.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A bronze crucifix with a rope on the back that cannot hang correctly on any wall, as it will always turn upside-down upon being hung, phasing through anything that intervenes. The eyes of Jesus have been painted red, and the paint is unable to be removed.
發現日期：06/06/2016
發現地點：Eleanor Slater Hospital in Cranston, Rhode Island, on the wall above the bed of a recently deceased Satanist
當前狀態：On the wall of Dr. ████████'s office.

物品描述：A 6" by 4" piece of cardboard folded in the style of a birthday card with the text "thIs is uR HaPPie BerTdAy" written in thick black ink on the front facing side. When opened, will show the birthday of the person opening the card and a small piece of white wrapped chocolate will fall out. If a person attempts to open the card a second time the card will refuse to open until the person's birthday. If a person was to open the card on their birthday the text inside the card will read "HApPY BETHDaY, HERE iS CONFETTEE", after which a small amount of confetti will drop out of the card and the card cannot be opened until the following year.
Date of Discovery: 5/4/1946
發現地點：█████████, Germany
當前狀態：Decomposed as of 2/2/2007 at Area-███

物品描述：A box of Totino's Party Pizza: Triple Pepperoni. The pizza will remain frozen even after being baked in an oven or cooked in a microwave.
發現日期：21/11/2019
發現地點：█████████████ Super Market, San Bernardino, California
當前狀態：Eaten by a Site-██ staff's pet dog after the item fell on the floor of the break room. Time of neutralization, 1:09 PM on 30/11/19

物品描述：A wheel of cheddar cheese capable of telepathic speech with humanoids within a 5-meter radius.  Deaf subjects, however, are incapable of hearing this item. Communication with this item is described as annoying or unbearable, with most subjects wishing to suspend the conversation after a few minutes.
發現日期：██/██/1921
發現地點：Dayton, Ohio, USA
當前狀態：In Storage Destroyed when item was left near the Site Cafeteria and deaf kitchen staff member, Roseanne ██████, unknowingly transferred it to the kitchen and began grating it. Item was reported to have "Screamed bloody murder," by another kitchen staff member during this process. Item no longer exhibited anomalous properties after the incident and was cleared for consumption.
Note: Good riddance. - Researcher ████

物品描述：A ███ Brand black ink pen that when used in writing will cause the person using it to draw an 's' in the popular 'Cool S' style on a random part of the paper/document without noticing until done writing.
Date of Discovery: 2/12/2019
發現地點：████████ High School, CT
當前狀態：In Dr. █████ office desk

物品描述：A Funko Pop Vinyl figure of Hulk Hogan with unblinking red human eyes. Eyes appear human, but testing has revealed that they have the DNA of a human botfly (Dermatobia hominis).
發現日期：06-20-2019
發現地點：T█████ brand store in ████████, New Hampshire
當前狀態：In storage.
Notes: I know we aren't supposed to neutralize anomalies for no apparent reason, but please let me kill that thing. -Dr ███████

物品描述：A 2 liter pepsi bottle that contains infinite soda inside of it. It also does not appear to spoil. The bottle along with the cap is confirmed to be indestructible.
發現日期：4/8/2007
發現地點：Site-18
當前狀態：In the Site-18 cafeteria
Note: Once again, we would like to apologize to all the on-site janitors and the suffering they had to go through to clean this up. Dr. ████ didn't mean to knock it over, and has already suffered the consequences for his actions.

物品描述：A 0.5 meter statue, depicting the Virgin Mary from the Christian faith. When direct physical contact is made, the subject will experience auditory hallucinations of Hymns commonly sung in Roman Catholic Churches throughout the United States. Initial testing has concluded that the object's outer layer is effectively impermeable.
發現日期：3/27/2005
發現地點：Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church, NY
當前狀態：A low-value storage locker at Site-77

物品描述：A wireless computer mouse that produces a stock "coconut hit" sound every time any functional part of the mouse is pressed.
發現日期：██-██-20██
發現地點：Best Buy brand store in Lynn, Massachusetts
當前狀態：Currently in possession of Dr. Robin.

物品描述：A bubble-eye goldfish in a plastic bag full of water that never ages. doesn't age unless removed from its bag.
發現日期：07-12-197█
發現地點：Town fair in ███████, Alabama
當前狀態：In animal containment at Site-██. Immediately died when removed from plastic bag. Impromptu funeral given to item as requested by Researcher █████.

物品描述：A pumpkin with the face of SCP-173 that doesn't rot or age. Substance that was found inside the pumpkin was revealed to be blood and feces similar to that produced by SCP-173. On Halloween, a lit candle appears inside the item.
發現日期：10-31-2007
發現地點：Suburban home in ███████, North Carolina
當前狀態：Contained at Site 19. Placed in Site-19's break room during the month of October.

物品描述：A barren field, with the exception of four gymnosperm trees similar in appearance to that of Pine trees. These trees are incapable of being subject to damage including being put ablaze. Every year on December 25^th the trees will undergo a change in appearance being decorated in commonly used for Christmas and will be coated in a thin layer of snow.
發現日期：12/25/1987
發現地點：An abandoned field in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
當前狀態：The objects are incapable of being moved and are to be maintained at their location of origin.

物品描述：A DVD for the animated film Shrek where the voices of the characters Shrek and Donkey are switched. No other changes are present.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：Blockbuster brand video store in ███████, Colorado.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A member of the species Coccinella septempunctata (seven-spot ladybird) whose spots form a random shape every day at noon. Recorded shapes include a circle, square, triangle, and a nonagon. Number of dots change to accommodate number of sides (tens of dots make a complete circle).
發現日期：██-██-20██
發現地點：Greenhouse in Webb, Mississippi
當前狀態：In animal containment at Site-23.

物品描述：A D███████ brand AAA battery that never runs out of power.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：Well's City, Nevada
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A green 100-page college ruled notebook filled with a series of paragraphs and equations describing how to calculate negative zero.
發現日期：12/15/20██
發現地點：In the office of the recently deceased Dr. ████
當前狀態：Located in the extra-dimensional research laboratory for use in calculations.
筆記：Dr. ████'s death was a suicide, presumably due to stress. It is believed that he wanted to finish these calculations before he died and that he wanted us to find the item.

物品描述：A wooden picnic table with the words "Periodic Table" carved into it. It appears to completely disappear and re-appear at random intervals in its previous position
Date of Recovery:  ██-██-2018
發現地點：An abandoned science lab thought to be used for a AWCY art display
當前狀態：In storage, Outline to be marked by tape to prevent other items from being stored in its area of affect

物品描述：A "see and say" children's toy, consisting of a pale pink plastic case, with 12 (twelve) images of animals around the face (common name below the image), a rotating pointer in the center of the case, and a pull-string on the left side; generally consistent with known non-anomalous examples of this type of toy from multiple manufacturers.  Animal images are all well-known animals commonly kept as livestock or pets in North America and Europe.  When an animal is selected with the pointer and the string pulled, a high-fidelity recording of a female voice can be heard speaking in the operator's native language: "The (name of animal selected) says", followed by an animal sound entirely unrelated to any of the animals portrayed on the device.  Any subject operating the device will become firmly and unshakably convinced that the sound produced matches the animal image selected.  Treatment with targeted Class-C amnestics are effective at removing the anomalous effect.
發現日期：████-09-13
發現地點：The preschool classroom of Gatewood Elementary, in ███████, ██.
當前狀態：Site-23 low-security storage wing.
Additional Notes As of ████-██-██, over 1,100 distinct animal sounds have been produced by the device and recorded for research purposes, 334 of which have been conclusively identified.  All of the identified animal sounds have been confirmed to belong to species on the IUCN Red List of Threatened Species, classed between Vulnerable and Extinct in the Wild.  Disassembly of the device for research purposes did not nullify the anomalous effect; but did turn up a small paper label pasted inside the plastic shell, reading Dr. Wondertainment - Let's Hear Them Before They Disappear… prototype G7

物品描述：A set of 9 ███████-█████-brand Halloween ghost costumes.  When worn, subjects will believe themselves to be ghosts, and proceed to act in a manner consistent with depictions of ghosts in children's animated programs, producing frequent "woo-oo" or "boo" vocalizations.  After 22 minutes, subject gains the ability to move through any and all solid, non-anomalous objects at will.  Costumes can be removed from stationary subjects with little effort, and subjects can be induced to voluntarily remove costume by speaking some variation of "Take that silly costume off" within hearing of the subject.  Anomalous effects cease immediately upon removing costume; while subject retains full memory of said effects.
發現日期：████-10-31
發現地點：████████ Thrift Store in, ████████, OR.
當前狀態：All 9 instances held at Site-206.  8 instances of item stored in High-Security Vault 98.  1 instance of item currently undergoing examination in Research and Development Laboratory Sigma.
If we can nullify the cognitive effect while retaining the physical effect, these would be invaluable tactical equipment for field agents. -Dr. S. Rachasthani

物品描述：A glass mason jar filled with an unknown opaque red substance with the consistency of peanut butter that emits the song "No Love" by the group Death Grips on repeat at 46hZ. When removed, the substance will inevitably return to the jar.
Date of Discovery: 9/9/2013
Loaction: ██████, Vermont
當前狀態：Locked in a storage refrigerator
Note: We tried to remove the substance to see if there was a speaker inside. Nothing; we still don't know how it's playing the song. - Dr. █████████

物品描述：One half of the shell of a Pacific Geoduck (Panopea generosa) with a common nail of unknown make stuck in its center. It is impossible to remove this nail, and the shell is indestructible.
Date of Discovery: 10-16-2004
發現地點：Revere Beach in Revere, MA
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A can of P████ brand soda that immediately begins begging to not have its contents consumed whenever placed within 5 inches of an open human mouth. If the contents of the can are consumed, the voice begins screaming in pain and crying. No audio devices have been found inside the can. Voice grows weaker as the can gets closer to being empty. Filling the can with any sort of liquid replenishes the strength of the voice.
發現日期：05-21-2005
發現地點：████████, Iowa
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A 10cm by 10cm by 10cm cube of concrete with the name "Humphrey Caroline" carved into it. Any water that is poured on the surface of this cube immediately vaporizes, producing a cloud of steam from the cube. Whenever any amount of liquid >= 1 liter is poured upon its surface, the object will change from gray to sky blue for 2 hours.
發現日期：██-██-1994
發現地點：██████████, Kentucky
當前狀態：In Low-Value Anomaly wing at Site-██.

物品描述：An indestructible Amazon brand cardboard box that, when photographed, shows a domestic cat sitting inside it. The text "if it fits, i sits" appears in comic sans font regardless of device used.
發現日期：██-15-2018
發現地點：Post office in Greenbelt City, Maryland
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A brown rat with human teeth. The teeth are absurdly large for the rat's mouth, and its snout is heavily disfigured due to this. Rat was immediately killed by only witness, who was given Class-A Amnestics.
發現日期：12/07/2004
發現地點：Alleyway in New York City, New York
當前狀態：Body is kept in cryogenic storage at Site-23.

物品描述：A painting, 24" by 12", depicting a white horse in a field of grass.  When the painting is hung "crooked", no anomalous effects occur.  If the painting is ever straightened, the rest of the room will become crooked, to an angle corresponding to the angle the painting was hung at before it was straightened.  Adjusting the painting to hang at any angle other than straight ends the effect.
發現日期：12/6/2019
發現地點：Home of a private art collector in New York City, New York.
當前狀態：Hanging on the wall of an unused office, for research purposes.
Note: As tempting as it might be to play with this object, staff are reminded to interact with it only during scheduled testing.  There could be more to this than we know about.

物品描述：An object that, under normal circumstances, is an ordinary granite rock weighing 42.2 kg. When in contact with living human cells, it undergoes an instantaneous process in which its entire physical structure is changed into that of a down pillow with a pillowcase that takes the exact shape and appearance of the rock, though with a standard texture for its material. It is subject to reshaping while transformed into a pillow, and after twenty seven seconds of sustained lack of contact with living human cells, it will instantly revert to an ordinary rock, though in whatever shape it was in before the time period ended.
發現日期：12/3/2019
發現地點：Near non-anomalous rocks along the side of a path in the Site-11 Recreational Park.
Current Status:: In Dr. Harley's office. Update 12/8/2019: In storage.
Note: Staff are advised not to throw objects at other staff unless necessary, especially objects one could interpret as serving as a threat to their physical health. - Director Barneda
Note: It was worth it. - Dr. Harley

物品描述：A hinged silver fortune cookie keychain containing two dice with joke phrases, such as "wash the car" or "rub my back" printed on each side. When rolled by a subject under substantial emotional distress, the dice will invariably return with "relax" and/or "sleep" depending on the time of day.
發現日期：1/12/2020
發現地點：████████, Wisconsin, USA
當前狀態：In Storage.

物品描述：Wireless microphone, which, when pointed at printed zeroes, transforms them into pairs of colons (appears as "::"). Transforms other digits to random hexadecimal in a similar manner. Labelled "eye pee b 6 by dado".
發現日期：2014/02/13
發現地點：Discovered while investigating SCP-████
當前狀態：In storage at Site-11.

物品描述：Poster of an unidentified woman wearing a traffic jacket.  Woman is seen to be looking away from the camera, toward something out of view.  When viewed by anyone who has stolen anything, regardless of value, in the last 72 hours, the woman is always seen to be looking directly at the viewer with an expression often described as "a mixture of accusation and disapproval."  Viewers who have not stolen anything within 72 hours see only the standard image, even when the poster is viewed by multiple subjects simultaneously.
發現日期：2019/8/17
發現地點：On a wall near a public restroom in Bond Street Station, London, England.
當前狀態：On the wall of an office belonging to the head of Site-42 Security.

物品描述：A manual spotlight that, when operated, gradually makes the person operating it decide to quit their job.
發現日期：4/4/2019
發現地點：Sent to the foundation by a group calling themselves “Narro Theater.”
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A bronze 27 cm sword that give anyone who wields it the ability to see any weapons that a person is carrying.
發現日期：August 13, 1965
發現地點：Found on man shot by police after attacking ██ Officers, Watts Neighborhood, Los Angeles, California
當前狀態：Used by Site-██ Security to detect weapons on incoming personnel.

物品描述：A 30 cm ruler that measures any object as exactly 23.4 cm regardless of its actual length.
發現日期：13/04/2007
發現地點：Recovered from ██ ███████ University, Leicestershire.
當前狀態：Located in Dr. ████'s office at Site-63.

物品描述：An antimemetic anomaly affecting the professional ice hockey team █████████ ████ which causes people to forget details about the team at a slightly faster rate than other teams in the franchise.
Date of Discovery: April 2, 1995
發現地點：Saint Paul, Minnesota
當前狀態：Currently being researched. No misinformation campaign is required, as the public simply attributes this phenomenon to the team's remote location and lack of significant events affecting the team.

物品描述：A container of Red Delicious Apples, mislabeled "Abbles". Biting into an apple will begin to play one song from the Swedish band Abba from the apple's flesh.
發現日期：2/5/1982
發現地點：Stockholm, Sweden
當前狀態：Neutralized (Apples rotted, and displayed no further effects)

物品描述：A U.S dime minted in 2003 that, when flipped, always lands on its side.
發現日期：1/28/2020
發現地點：Walden, New York
當前狀態：Located on Dr. Mahood's desk at Site-73

物品描述：A lava lamp that was filled with lava that was always molten (the lava, not the lamp); the lamp itself was not affected by the lava in any way.
發現日期：08/16/2017
發現地點：St. Johns, Canada
當前狀態：Neutralized (Dr. █████ wanted to see if the lamp was invulnerable by dropping it on the floor, it smashed, causing the lava to pour out killing Dr. █████, severely burning two personnel, and causing $120 in property damage before the lava solidified).

物品描述：A white silver-edged plate that have a falling speed 16x times slower than the normal falling speed. All attempts to speed up the fall speed failed
發現日期：7/11/2008
發現地點：Arizona, United States
當前狀態：In containment of Site-██'s storage room. Recently used to practice throwing for field agents.
Seeing it falling slowly is so painful that you wish it shatters into a thousand pieces - Dr.███

物品描述：A bottle labeled "one 100 % brain-use pills by dado" containing 94 pills chemically identical to chalk. Consuming said pills results in an immediate epileptic seizure.
發現日期：27/9/2011
發現地點：Seized from the residence of a hospitalized civilian.
當前狀態：In storage. Item's original owner amnesticized and seizure attributed to an isolated medical occurrence.

物品描述：An indestructible red plastic cup that turns any consumable liquid into a jello with the same flavor as the liquid poured. This transformation occurs exactly 3 seconds after pouring ceases. Regardless of how much liquid is poured in, the jello always fills the cup all the way to the top.
發現日期：8-12-2012
發現地點：Office at Site-██
當前狀態：In storage. All other red plastic cups on-Site checked for anomalous properties. No other anomalous items found.

物品描述：A leaf from a member of the genus Quercus⁵ that does not seem to age, but changes colors in response to the season of the area it's in. It is indestructible. only damaged by fire.
發現日期：5-25-2019
發現地點：Warwick, Rhode Island
當前狀態：In storage. Destroyed by fire during durability test. Ashes showed no anomalous properties.

物品描述：A beard-tax coin dating to the reign of Tsar Peter “The Great”. When held by an without significant facial hair, regardless of sex, the subject will sprout a full beard trimmed in a manner consistent with the old Russian Orthodox faith. When released by an individual with significant facial hair, the hair will immediately be shaven cleanly.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：St. Petersburg, Russian Federation
當前狀態：In the possession of Researcher Borodin.

物品描述：A floor lamp, which when indirectly observed, appears to have a severed human head in place of the lamp shade.
發現日期：3-12-2020
發現地點：An Ikea in Göteborg, Sweden
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A yellow street sign with the word "PLAYGROUND" on it. Parts of the sign is degraded due to weather and rust. Any human that views the sign for more than 5 seconds grows an irrational yet uncontrollable fear of any sort of playground equipment for exactly one day.
發現日期：2-12-2020
發現地點：Lynn, Massachusetts
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A crowbar that, when held by any adult male, makes those around them to see them as the 3-dimensional model for the main character of the Half-Life Series, Gordon Freeman.
發現日期：5-15-2007
發現地點：A Home Depot home supplies store in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
當前狀態：In possession of Dr. Lindrom.

物品描述：A stone which, when held, the song "The Final Hurrah" in the album Kasvot Växt: í rokk (Live) by Phish can be heard faintly emanating from its top.
發現日期：11-3-2018
發現地點：Las Vegas, Nevada
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A plush white teddy bear holding a plush pink heart with the phrase "Be my valentine?" written in fancy black text. The heart anomalously produces a heartbeat as it pumps similar to a healthy human heart.
發現日期：02-14-2020
發現地點：A Walmart in Albany, New York
當前狀態：In storage. Given to Dr. Willer as a gift from Dr. Karver.

物品描述：Life-sized bronze statue of singer Freddy Mercury that periodically vomits small amounts of various pastas. Pasta emerges fully prepared.
發現日期：7-12-1989
發現地點：In a storage unit In Madrid, Spain.
當前狀態：Site 19 materials laboratory.

物品描述：A golden locket in the shape of a heart that causes the wearer to vomit flowers of random varieties.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：SCP-████'s containment cell.
當前狀態：In possession of Researcher Flora, who has been unable to remove the locket upon placing it on for testing.

物品描述：A purple hair-tie that when worn by anyone regardless of gender, will cause their hair to grow seven extra (7) feet in length. Recovered from the home was the package which also contained five other hair-ties. All other hair-ties have been tested and proved to be non-anomalous.
發現日期：██-██-20██
發現地點：The house of the ██████ family in Des Moines, Iowa.
當前狀態：In possession of Researcher █████. In a storage locker at Site-██.
Note: Package read "Doctor Wondertainment's Rapaunzel Style Hair Kit! Will YOU find the special ponytail?"- Doctor Leena
Note: Yes Wondertainment. We did find it!-Doctor Dots

物品描述：A black common household Felis catus that causes all who view it to describe as 'weird and ominous' and hold the firm belief that it can talk, but just refuses to talk to them and ignore them instead, despite that it has been found to be incapable of human speech.
發現日期：04-11-2019
發現地點：████ Animal Shelter in ██████, Mississippi.
當前狀態：Kept as a pet by Researcher Berry.
Note: I love him, okay? He's Hemingway! I will get him to speak one day.-Researcher Berry

物品描述：A head of a deceased human. Object shows no signs of decomposing. When another sapient organism places its hand behind one of the head's ears and thinks of an object, the object will be in the subject's hand when it is no longer behind the head's ear.
發現日期：02-16-2020
發現地點：Buddhist Temple in ████████, Thailand
當前狀態：Currently undergoing testing at Site-██. In storage after D-Class Personnel attempted to escape by producing a weapon from the head, and was subsequently neutralized.
Note: Really? What did you think was going to happen? -Professor Montes

物品描述：A calendar that transforms wines it comes into contact with into water and transforms other alcohols it comes into contact with into wine. Written on the date of July 10 is "Hmm today I will turn wine into water now on the weekends… [sic]"
發現日期：07-12-2021
發現地點：The residence of PoI-307█
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A Pepsi-brand freestyle machine, typically used to dispense a variety of Pepsi-brand soft drinks. However, the only drink dispensed is Mountain Dew Zero Sugar, and is constantly, endlessly flowing, even if power to the object is cut. The supply of Mountain Dew Zero Sugar is believed to be infinite. The only method of stopping the flow is dismantling the dispensing mechanism.
發現日期：01-02-2020
發現地點：Pepsi Headquarters, Harrison, New York
當前狀態：Disassembled. Parts can be found in storage room C/33-a at Site-14. Access requires permission from the Site Director, following the "Sticky Incident," notorious at Site-14.

物品描述：A horn of a male bighorn sheep (Ovis canadensis) that is capable of being played like a clarinet when air is blown into the pointed end. Regardless of someone's true ability to play the clarinet, the music played on the horn shows a decent amount of skill.
發現日期：06-15-2015
發現地點：Bar in ██████, Egypt
當前狀態：In storage. In possession of Dr. ██████.

物品描述：A tail feather of a male Indian Peafoul (Pavo cristatus) that regenerates any barbs removed. Regenerated barbs grow back from the rachis in a matter of a few seconds in a manner similar to a timelapse of a plant growing. The removed barbs harmlessly crumble to dust, which anomalously disappears when blown on by any sort of air-based force.
發現日期：02-02-2020
發現地點：Museum in ███████, France
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：An indestructible sandbag with a yellow cartoon face drawn on one side. When punched, the bag anomalously produces a laugh and says "Stop, that tickles!" in an undefined voice. regardless of the angle or strength of the punch, the sandbag always bobs exactly 35 degrees backwards from the direction the face is at.
發現日期：12-13-2019
發現地點：Workout World in ██████, ████████
當前狀態：Used for basic training at Site-19.

物品描述：A plastic treasure chest that opens and produces soap bubbles at random intervals. It will produce oxygen bubbles when placed in a perfectly prepared fish tank for zebra danio (Danio rerio). Otherwise, it will not open when placed underwater.
發現日期：06-26-2009
發現地點：PetSmart in ██████, Massachusetts
當前狀態：In storage. Used by Dr. ██████, who is currently keeping zebra danios.

物品描述：A box of BeanBoozled brand jelly beans that immediately refills when all of the beans have been eaten. When the box resets, it is either full of jelly beans of normal flavors or jelly beans of unusual flavors.
發現日期：08-03-2016
發現地點：7-11 brand convenience store in San Diego, California
當前狀態：In break room at Site-25. Currently full of gross tasting beans (we think).

物品描述：A glass vial containing an unidentified species of centipede with no eyes and sharp claws on each leg. The body is perfectly preserved.
發現日期：11-01-1999
發現地點：Behind a dumpster in New York City, New York.
當前狀態：In Dr. █████'s office.

物品描述：An oil painting of a dog that changes between a basset hound, a Pembroke Welsh corgi, a golden retriever, an English bulldog, and a Siberian husky over a weekly basis.
Date of Recovery:  01-16-2020
發現地點：Art gallery in Los Angeles, California
當前狀態：In Site-73's break room.

物品描述：A cloud formation permanently located at 40.7482° N, 77.1051° W in the shape of a matchlock revolver. At random intervals, the cloud formation reorients its barrel in the direction of a nearby aircraft or cloud formation and shoots a single high-speed gust of wind at it. Twelve recorded civilian deaths and 7 recorded civilian injuries have been linked to this cloud formation.
發現日期：02-12-2012
發現地點：Franklin Township, PA, United States of America
當前狀態：Pending neutralization due to its unpredictable, dangerous nature, lack of discernible sentience, and Veil-threatening factors.

物品描述：A golden barrel cactus (Echinocactus grusonii) that has varying lengths of steel spikes replacing its spines. A single large pink flower sits atop the plant.
發現日期：06-10-2010
發現地點：Mojave Desert, California
當前狀態：In Greenhouse Storage at Site-45.

物品描述：A golden dollar coin that, when flipped, always flips exactly one and a half feet in the air, flipping exactly five times before reaching the ground.
發現日期：11-28-2019
發現地點：███████, Maine
當前狀態：In possession of Dr. █████. In storage.

物品描述：A plush doll of the Pokemon Ditto that changes to a plush doll of the Pokemon Vanillite with the face of Ditto. This change occurs every day at exactly midnight, lasting until daybreak. When it changes a flash of anomalous light surrounds it for about ten seconds.
發現日期：09-09-2016
發現地點：Gamestop brand video game store in ███████, Idaho
當前狀態：In possession of Dr. ██████.

物品描述：A white plastic spoon that calls anything that holds it fat and ugly. The holder feels anomalously sad after holding the object for more than five seconds. This affect works for anything that can hold it, including simians and even non-mammalian organisms.  
發現日期：02-01-2020
發現地點：Cafeteria at Site-73
當前狀態：Used for testing at Site-██. In storage after being broken in two pieces by monkey. Both parts of the spoon retain anomalous properties.

物品描述：A keyboard from an unknown make and model of computer that inspires those that press the spacebar, enter key, backspace, or page up key to get up (if they are sitting or laying) and hop five times in a row. All other keys are nonanomalous. The only other anomalous key is the "O" key which makes those that press it scratch their nose.
發現日期：02-15-2020
發現地點：█████, Rhode Island
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A Playstation 4 controller that, when held by one's hands, will adhere to the controller until treated; consult Document AI-XA for confirmed treatment methods.
發現日期：24/02/2019
發現地點：London, England
當前狀態：Anomalous Object Storage, Site-19.

物品描述：A pitchfork, when held, will cause the wielder to yell “1986 was a mistake!” The wielder can stop at any time.
發現日期：23-02-2020
發現地點：Alpine, CA.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A beach ball that floats midair for 24-48 hours upon being thrown.
發現日期：01-01-2020
發現地點：Mission Bay, CA.
當前狀態：Deflated, in storage.

物品描述：A Sega Project DIVA Arcade F 2nd PM brand Hatsune Miku figurine that causes all persons in range to memorize the lyrics and tune of a randomized Hatsune Miku song, even if the person has never heard that song before.
發現日期：20/06/2018
發現地點：Animx Con held in Greenville Convention center Greenville, South Carolina.
當前狀態：In the possession of Researcher ████.

物品描述：A Holt McDougal US history textbook that causes anyone who holds it to hold the false belief that Ronald Regan is still the president of the United States.
發現日期：19/07/1982
發現地點：Vineyard Highschool in Destin, Florida.
當前狀態：In storage.
 
物品描述：A 12 inch Anime Palace brand Strawberry Bread Cat plush toy that will cause all food in the building it is in to have a slight to overwhelming taste of strawberry.
發現日期：07/07/2019
發現地點：A home in Seattle, Washington.
當前狀態：At the home of Researcher Berry.
Note: This thing was going to drive us nuts. We trust her, she can have it. -Dr Calamari (who hates strawberries)

物品描述：A plastic toothbrush that changes from pink to gray in between every brush stroke. Change is instantaneous regardless of if it is being viewed or not.
發現日期：11-10-2013
發現地點：Dentists office in ██████, Wisconsin
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A wood mouse (Apodemus sylvaticus) with a prehensile tail. It uses this tail to hold onto small items like grains or bugs. It also uses this tail to climb on the branches of shrubs and flowers. Mouse is completely infertile and sexless.
發現日期：02-19-2000
發現地點：Found with lab mice in Lab-16 at Site-██
當前狀態：In anomalous animal containment at Site-██. Mouse died on 08-18-2003 of natural causes. Body preserved at Lab-16 at Site-██.

物品描述：A rubber clown nose that makes any sneeze within a mile around it sound like a clown honk. Anyone within ten feet of it can hear a circus version of Entry of the Gladiators from right behind their left ear.
發現日期：10-15-2018
發現地點：Party City brand party supplies store in ███████, New Hampshire
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A plastic poppy flower that is seen by anyone as a living, immortal version of their perfect flower and color of said flower. If the person viewing the item has no preference in flower types, they will see it simply as a red plastic poppy flower.
發現日期：03-14-2020
發現地點：Flower store cart in █████████, California
當前狀態：In on-site break room at Site-34.

物品描述：A pair of plastic chattering teeth that moves when not wound up. It moves at about 0.7 meters per minute. If it is wound up 1-3 cranks, it will slow down to 0.4 meters per minute. If cranks 4 or more cranks, it will stop for exactly 5.5 seconds before immediately springing back to life.
發現日期：11-12-2013
發現地點：Joke shop in ███████, Arkansas
當前狀態：Kept in a oval-shaped track in Dr. Bloom's Office.

物品描述：A light purple 14-cm-long piece of chalk that produces a 80 decibel screech whenever written on a chalkboard. The tip of the chalk is the exact source of the sound. It never wears down from writing.
發現日期：01-25-1998
發現地點：███ ██████ High School in ███████, Georgia
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A 15-inch plush toy of SCP-529 with a tag identifying it as such. Besides being able to stand perfectly on its own, item holds no anomalous properties. Contained for reasons of security breach.
發現日期：08-20-2014
發現地點：Friends of Angels toy store in Dallas, Texas.
當前狀態：In possesion of Doctor Dots.

物品描述：An AcuRite 75099M 10-inch LED Digital Clock which only displays the words "GET A WATCH". Attempts to program it otherwise have failed; item is unable to be powered off, even by removing the batteries.
發現日期：09/05/2014
發現地點：A dormitory in Chesapeake College, ███████, Oregon.
當前狀態：Dr. Diamond's office.

物品描述：A pack of pink Post-It notes which, when viewed, will remind the subject of what they had (previously) forgotten.
發現日期：05-05-2098
發現地點：Sector-A of Site-98
當前狀態：In variable facilities.
Notes: How in the hell do we forget to contain SCP-18398?! Let’s get back to work! - Agent Nori.

物品描述：American bullfrog capable of human vocalization, which has not been observed not doing so except when eating or sleeping. The vocalizations were originally believed to be meaningless nonsense, but study has revealed them to be words in a wide variety of dead languages from across the globe (over 50 unique languages at the time of writing). The frog is otherwise non-anomalous.
發現日期：3-5-2020
發現地點：Pet shop in █████, MA, United States.
當前狀態：In standard animal containment.
Notes: Any personnel with knowledge of ancient or dead languages is invited to listen to the frog, provided they do so on their own time.

物品描述：A No. 2 graphite pencil that causes searing pain when brought in contact with male genitalia.
發現日期：1-3-2014
發現地點：Nightclub in ██████, Rhode Island.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A light-sensory night light in the shape of a star that only turns on when unplugged and placed in pitch black darkness. Anyone that holds the item will feel inclined to plug it in.
發現日期：05-14-2018
發現地點：Home Depot in █████████, New Hampshire
當前狀態：Plugged into an outlet at Site-73.

物品描述：A wooden board, 1 foot by 2 feet by 1 inch thick, with an approximately finger-sized hole. When a finger is fully inserted into the hole, the hole will invariably shrink such that the finger will become inextricable without considerable effort, no matter the actual size of the finger.
發現日期：██-██-████
發現地點：████████, █████
Status: Stored in a standard containment locker in Non-Essential Anomaly Storage, Site-19            

物品描述：A medium sized dark blue backpack manufactured by Longbehn & Co., Inc. When opened it reveals a pitch black, seemingly bottomless, interior. Any material that enters the object is never seen again. Where the material ends up is currently unknown and any camera or drone that enters the object results in a loss of communication.
發現日期：03/08/2004
發現地點：█████ High school, Arkansas, USA
當前狀態：in storage.

物品描述：A worn cover of the 2001 album Discovery by French group Daft Punk that when placed on a non active record table will play the full album without the vinyl. No vinyl disk was found during recovery.
發現日期：2/2/2020
Location: █████████, France
當前狀態：In possession of Dr. Loe at Site-73 after approved purchase.
Note: It's harmless, let him have it, I heard he's a fan - Site Director Baskin

物品描述：A C██████ brand crayon with a color labeled "purple mountain majesty" that, when held by any human over the age of five, will make them begin singing America the Beautiful in English, regardless of if they know English or the song. An orchestral music score will begin emanating from the crayon until the song has reached completion.
發現日期：03-13-2020
發現地點：Mail truck delivering item to suburban home. No other crayons were ordered.
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：The twenty-sixth, forty-seventh, and seventy-sixth pages of Dougal Dixon's After Man: A Zoology of the Future which, when an attempt is made to grasp them, rapidly displace themselves onto nearby surfaces while trailing tan smoke.
發現日期：06-11-1999
發現地點：A table in the second-floor break room of Site-██. How the objects appeared there is unknown, though their time of arrival is timed between 2:00 and 3:00, between which hours security footage only displays the illustrations printed on said pages.
當前狀態：Forty-seventh page in storage. Whereabouts of the remaining pages unknown, though one is suspected to be lost in the ventilation system.

物品描述：A pack of ice cubes that melts at -2˚C or lower, and that doesn't melt when exposed at 1˚C or higher.
發現日期：18-03-2020
發現地點：Tószeg, Hungary
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A piece of paper that automatically erases all text on it after 3 hours.
發現日期：18-03-2020
發現地點：████, Virginia
當前狀態：In storage.

物品描述：A USB-C power cord typically used for the charging of smartphones or similar devices. When plugged into the USB port of a device and a wall outlet, the device will spontaneously burst into flames. This event appears to cause no physical damage to the USB cord.
發現日期：3/20/2020
發現地點：Walgreens Corner-Store in Concord, CA.
當前狀態：Kept in standard anomalous object locker at Site-██

Footnotes

1. A memetic anomaly which replaces all information of itself with an image of a human foot placed on top of a standard notepad when not described in the context of a footnote.  

2. 03-02-2009.  

3. Dr. Dankworth claims to have made a pun on the words "footnote" when the anomaly first was recognized, prompting it to possibly exist from this event.

4. Anomaly is never mentioned unless used in the context of a footnote.

5. Genus that includes all species of oak trees.