您正在查詢的標題為：關注組織
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：機動特遣隊
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：基金會設施
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：人物檔案
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：世界線中心頁
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：系列檔案室
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：競賽資料庫
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：異常物品紀錄
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：超常事件紀錄
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：未解明地點列表
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
您正在查詢的標題為：基金會故事
在多個資料庫中發現符合該標題的文件
請選擇欲查詢的資料來源，或按此取消
繁中原創
主站翻譯
俄文分部
韓文分部
中國分部
法文分部
波蘭分部
西語分部
泰文分部
日文分部
德文分部
義語分部
烏克蘭分部
葡語分部
捷克分部
越南分部
Crack Fiction. The dark, stank filled corner of the internet that the SCP Foundation — with all its rules, organization, and grammar-filled-goodness — stands strongly against, rallies against, and prevents from filling our site.
Until now.
The Contest
You will write a piece of crack fiction for the site. The title has already been chosen, and there are certain requirements that come with each title. Each level of difficulty will give you the chance to earn more and more points.
The "Winners"
The winners will be determined by a combination of judges and rating. The judges (who are entirely impartial) will be required to drink heavily before scoring. As a note, this contest will employ no judges who are aged 21 or younger, in accordance with regulations and laws concerning the consumption of alcohol.
Bonus points are awarded for selecting higher difficulties. Further bonus points will be awarded if the subject of the story actually upvotes your story. Collusion and coercion are highly encouraged.
The top rated stories will be read aloud by selected staff members and posted to the site with those stories — for all eternity.
Being Classy
Don't.
Rules
The basic rules of the contest are as follows:
- You must write a story using one of the titles. Once a title is claimed, no one else can write about it. You claim a title by editing this page and adding your name to the end of the title in the provided formatting. Once you've posted, edit again and make the title link to your page.
- Your entry must meet the word count requirements as listed with the title. These word counts were determined using the subject's highest and lowest SCP numbers. Use WordCounter to determine the total. The title doesn't count against the word count.
- Your entry should be in the 'tale' format. While it may include other elements from the site (SCP excerpts, for example), it should be a tale primarily.
- Once posted, you may not be delete or edit your entry, regardless of performance. Articles that dip into the deletion range are expected.
- No Minions©
- Judges are given a list of things to look for in each piece of crackfiction, but they are also given the latitude to rule that "they are just too drunk for this shit" and award whatever they want.
- Erotica, while not required, is technically permissible. However, it should be tagged 'adult' and possess a short disclaimer.
- Once posted, the entry should be tagged with "af2016".
- No whining. Points will be deducted for whining.
- Whine. Points will be awarded for whining.
Time Frame
IT'S OVER!
Story Tiers
Bonus points are awarded for selecting a higher tier, as noted. Read above for claiming stories.
Safe
Safe articles have no additional requirements and receive no bonus points.
| Title | Claim | Site Score | Judge / Bonus |
|---|---|---|---|
| Professor Bjornsen and the Worst Sweater Ever | Hihahaba | -17 | 0 |
| If It Looks Like a Duck, Swims Like a Duck, and Quacks Like a Duck, It's Probably a Shapeshifting Living Nightmare | Eta Carinae | 8 | 0 |
| Sophia Light At The End Of The Tunnel | Steeltitan | 6 | 0 |
| Glass x Diogenes 4 Life! <3 | Silberescher | 2 | 0 |
| A Shotglass Full Of The Strongest Drink You Know | rumetzen | 3 | 0 |
| Flames in the Time of Cholera | 0vErG71tCh | 12 | 0 |
| 大家！Gears絕對不是一個機器人 | Dr Solo | 24 | 0 |
| Ruiz Sobers Up | Leviathan34 | 1 | 0 |
| Why Quikngruvn Halifax Never Smoked Marijuana Again | Dr Theodore S. Hysteria | 8 | 3 |
| This is Why We Leave the Fucking Lids on the Garbage Bins | EldritchCyanide | 10 | 5 |
| 我的寶貝壁虎 | Decibelles | 11 | 2 |
| How Tilda Moose Got Their Groove Back | Zyn | 9 | 1 |
| Quik and Morty | Vanson | -8 | 0 |
| 關於 Rose Labelle、Site 19 的救主、異常之剋星暨圖書館特使的一段與事實相符且深深引人入勝的故事：她冒險進入未知的土地尋找狄瓦帝國的失落寶典，遇見一些異域存在和神性存在，發現 (並誅戮) 自己內心的黑暗，並享受兩星級酒店的免費歐陸式早餐 | thedeadlymoose | 2 | 5 |
THE WINNER FOR SAFE IS…. Gears is totally not a robot, guys! by Dr Solo!
Euclid
Euclid articles must include a character from a different work of fiction. Bonus points will be awarded for both obscurity (the non-Chewbacca Wookie from Attack of the Clones) or popularity (Naruto). Additional points will be given if at least one staff member squees on the discussion page. Even more points will be awarded for one act of horrible mischaracterization.
| Title | Claim | Site Score | Judge / Bonus |
|---|---|---|---|
| Heiden Weeps | FUCKING KAKTUS | 10 | 4 |
| Harry Potter and the Amulet of Immortality | FuzzyRobin | -3 | 2 |
| Brothers in Arms: A Strelnikov/Heavy Weapons Guy story | EmberTech | 4 | 0 |
| SyFy Channel Presents: BEARMAGGEDON!!! | kol aumer | 1 | 2 |
| Impressive, You Seem to Have Self-Terminated | HatIsMyFriend AKA MrHat | -4 | 2 |
| The Old Man and the CK-Class Reality Restructuring Event | A Blessed Feline who's also a total noob and this edit is his first ever on this site!!! | 0 | 2 |
| Dr Gerald and Mr Magoos Big Day Out With Pee Wee Herman!! | SinfulSyntax | -1 | 2 |
| The Spider and the Flower: Natasha Romanoff/Pepper Potts/SCP-105/Andrea S. Adams | Dewman | 4 | 5 |
| Love And Relative Dimensions in Fate: Dr. Clef/Doctor Who | Cyantreuse | 26 | 7 |
| Everett Mann and the Great Mustache Fiasco|Everett Mann and the Great Mustache Fiasco | Steeltitan | -1 | 2 |
| NO ITEMS. HARD TO DESTROY REPTILE ONLY. DUCK POND. | overandoverandover | 11 | 2 |
| Not Just A Cat In A Labcoat | clone | 38 | 3 |
| Deep Deep DEEP Archive Binge | DAVEYOUFOOL MOTHER FUCKERS | -6 | 2 |
| The Minions© day at the scp | Randomini | 37 | 7 |
THE WINNER FOR EUCLID IS…. The Minions© day at the scp by Randomini
Keter
Keter articles must be entirely dialogue or possess none at all to be awarded bonus points.
| Title | Claim | Site Score | Judge / Bonus |
|---|---|---|---|
| Fried Chicken & Lime Jello, the Dr. Bjornsen story | Dmatix | 1 | 3 |
| Constipation So Bad, You'll Need a Shot of Pitocin | CumaeanSibyl | 2 | 2 |
| Gaff, and the World Gaffs with You | Tophatlord | -3 | 2 |
| It's Not Pronounced Like the Thesaurus, Dammit! | Kestin | 15 | 4 |
| Son of Fritz Williams: The Administrationing | DrMorris | -6 | 2 |
| Father of Lies: A Drabble | DodoDevil | -3 | 2 |
| The Seven Deadly Sins Series: Dr. Johannes Sorts (Sloth) | Dr Theodore S. Hysteria | 2 | 2 |
| Avery Solace: Dr. Scary Fucker | Jb_adder | -21 | 2 |
| Scruff, Claws, Paws- A Nekoverse!AU (SCP-2000, Gears, Troy Lament) | Perelka_L | 13 | 2 |
| Look Asshole, Your Tab's Seven Months Old and This is the Third Time You've Pissed on My Tables. | Zmax15 | -9 | 2 |
| 異常霍亂時期的慾望 | WrongJohnSilver | 12 | 5 |
THE WINNER FOR KETER IS…. It's Not Pronounced Like the Thesaurus, Dammit! by Kestin
Neutralized
Neutralized articles must be posted on fanfiction.net or archiveofourown.org. You must link to the crossposting in the discussion page to receive bonus points.
| Title | Claim | Site Score | Judge / Bonus |
|---|---|---|---|
| Kill "The Headlights" and Put It in Neutral(ized) | Jack Ike | 0 | 2 |
| Dr. Chelsea Elliott's Guide to Sticking that Green Thumb Right Up Your Ass | church1alpha | -1 | 2 |
| Legally a Falcon (For Tax Purposes) | Waterfire | 4 | 2 |
| Clef and Adams Roadtrip to Russia | QuillofBlindie | -7 | 2 |
| SCP the Anime, part 4 (Gears/Iceberg, Clef/Kondraki, Rights/Light, Kain, monkey!Bright) | MrWrong | 6 | 3 |
| Not Just A Sun-Launcher: The Trials & Tribulations of Dr. Epiphany Trebuchet | The Lord O' Stonefish | 0 | 2 |
THE WINNER FOR NEUTRALIZED IS…. SCP the Anime, part 4 (Gears/Iceberg, Clef/Kondraki, Rights/Light, Kain, monkey!Bright) by MrWrong
Thaumiel
Thaumiel articles must also include your own character. This character cannot already exist in the SCP Foundation. Bonus points are awarded based of how much of a Mary Sue they are and how vehemently you attempt to show (in the story) that they aren't actually.
| Title | Claim | Site Score | Judge / Bonus |
|---|---|---|---|
| Troy Lament and the Terror Ferrets of Darkling Lane | Hercules Rockefeller | 4 | 5 |
| CASEFILE 99A-FC3: A Psych Profile by A. Bjornsen | asriel17 | 3 | 3 |
| Agent Imants Plumbing Pool Repair and Pizza Delivery Service | Eekium | 5 | 3 |
| Pretty Magic Gaiden Mecha Tokyo Mon Demon Ninja Sailor Clef | rumetzen | 14 | 6 |
| Lawyer jokes are funny when Sheldon Katz tells them | fastandbulbous | -10 | 2 |
| Zyn: kaiju butterfly ninja master | Aiden Eldritch | 4 | 5 |
| The Tilda Moose Who Shagged Me | A Random Day | -7 | 2 |
| Alto Clef Jr.: Fins of the Father | DolphinSlugchugger | 14 | 5 |
| A Fat Ghost and Other Things That Go Bump In the Night | DoctorGrindsler | 0 | 2 |
| Virgil the Goldfish's Big Day Out | DAVSTO | 4 | 2 |
| Silber Strikes Back! (OC DO NOT STEAL!!!!!) | ahbonjour | 3 | 2 |
| Orgy Five Counsel 9: XXXK End of Virginity Scenario | TyGently | 17 | 4 |
| 'Cause I'm Bluesoul (Da Ba De Da Ba Da) | DoctorGrinslder | -11 | 3 |
| Metaphysician's Drop-Dead-Service: 10.95 | minmin | 11 | 5 |
THE WINNER FOR THAUMIEL IS…. Orgy Five Counsel 9: XXXK End of Virginity Scenario by TyGently
Decommissioned
Decommissioned articles must contain one spelling or grammar mistake every one to two sentences to be awarded bonus points. If these are "arguable" mistakes, the judge makes the call.
| Title | Claim | Site Score | Judge / Bonus |
|---|---|---|---|
| lazy day at siet 37 | ChrisAKAPiefish | -5 | 2 |
| my-loever-the-dog | Zmax15 | 18 | 4 |
| Dr. Bridge Over Troubled Water | Kestin | 5 | 3 |
| Zyn Kriyu only she's a buterfly | TL333s | 2 | 3 |
| Teh Fantem of teh opura | Cyantreuse | 11 | 2 |
| Carlysle Aktus is a prickly bastard (AN: high school AU) | bouncl | 3 | 5 |
| foundation internets… haced | DrStranger | -8 | 2 |
| lurking in the shadows | Eekium | -4 | 2 |
| lode faster DAMIT | MrAnakinSpecter | -11 | 2 |
| Wiggle Youre Wogglebug | Shaggydredlocks | -6 | 2 |
| FUCK IM FAILING TO MAINTAIN THESE STARES………… | EldritchCyanide | 1 | 2 |
THE WINNER FOR DECOMMISSIONED IS…. my-loever-the-dog by Zmax15
Points were awarded by judges (who picked up to five which they wanted to award points to). Additional points were awarded for being translated (because I was amazed), if the target of the contest upvoted it, and if it met the tier requirements. Each tier got its own winner, as noted above!